A response to a response to Dove’s “Real Beauty Sketches” campaign

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My brilliant sister in-law linked to this blog post today. It’s a response to Dove’s Real Beauty Sketches campaign (you know, the thing I posted about yesterday).

I think it’s great. I did notice that the video celebrated a conventional definition of beauty. I also noticed that most of the women in the video were white. I’m annoyed that when people think of beauty they think of looks. And I’m enraged that we’re taught that looks are so important–sometimes (oftentimes) more important that confidence, strength, intelligence, gusto, creativity. All of the points made in the blog post are great and INCREDIBLY important.

But here’s the thing. This is a 6:36 Dove video we’re talking about. This is not a women’s studies course. It’s not a book. Broadening the scope of their experiment would be chaos. The explicit message is good (great, even). It’s the meta-messages that are upsetting.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m a firm believer in making conscious, inclusive decisions across the board to invite change into societal standards–to change norms. That means videos like this certainly should include a more diverse group of women (and men!). The video also could have been edited with less of an emphasis (or no emphasis at all) on words like “skinny” and “thin” as (in jazzylittledrops‘ words) “implied positive” descriptors and crows feet, moles, scars, and fat as implied negative descriptors. Because who says that certain things are positive/beautiful and certain things are negative/ugly? (Society, that’s who! But anyway…)

So, what I’m saying (in circles) boils down to this: jazzylittledrops, YOU’RE RIGHT. But this Dove project can only do so much. And from what I can tell on my Facebook wall, it’s been very moving to a lot of women. I just hope they take it at face-value (ha!) like I did.

UPDATE: In my (beautiful, intelligent, creative) mom’s words, “If it makes us aware that we aren’t fair to ourselves, more power to it.” Well said.

You are more beautiful than you think.

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This video is currently making the rounds on Facebook, but I had to share it here, too.

Dove does it again with their “Real Beauty” campaign, this time taking a fabulously artistic approach: a forensic artist sketches women based on how they describe themselves. Then, he sketches them again based on how a stranger describes them. How do you think the two sketches turned out and differed? See for yourself.

I teared up.

Whole30: FAQs

A few friends reached out to me during the process to express their interest in giving the Whole30 a try. But, since it’s rather intimidating, they had lots of questions. Here are some good/common ones:

Q: Is it hard?
A: Yes. But not that hard, and it got easier. During the first week or so, I would finish a meal and then panic, thinking, “Oh no! Was that compliant?” Of course it was. I planned and prepared all of my meals in advance (which is very hard for some). I was just terrified I’d forget that I was even doing a Whole30. For example, I made pico de gallo. I needed to taste it, and Richie had a bag of pita chips out, so I almost reached for a pita chip without even thinking! (Don’t worry–I used a spoon instead.)

And in the evenings, the dessert cravings were a little intense–especially during a particularly rough week (see my post on treats)–and lasted until around day 20. But, I got over it.

Q: What have you been craving?
A: Pizza (I had at least two pizza dreams), wine (I had one wine dream), peanut butter, cheese (of course), and crunchy things!!! Not that fresh bell peppers or sugar snap peas aren’t crunchy, but on one grocery run, I wanted every crunchy thing in the store, including every bag of chips. So I bought roasted hazelnuts; they’re amazing.

Q: Is Richie joining you for support?
A: No. It’s not that he’s not supportive (though eating all that peanut butter in front me wasn’t very nice), but Whole30 is vegetarian-unfriendly. It’s not impossible, but it’s very difficult. We mostly made separate meals, but for some meals, we made separate proteins.

Q: Have you been surprised about ingredients in anything?
A: Yes! Why does chicken need sugar? It doesn’t, but you’d be amazed how much has it added. Luckily, the Whole9 forum was incredibly helpful when it came to ordering lunch at chain restaurants (which I did at work a couple times). Did you know Panera has a secret menu? (It’s more Paleo, but you can make Whole30 adjustments.)

Q. What can you eat?
A: Lots of stuff! When out, I had a few bun-less burgers and lots of salads with grilled chicken. One of my favorite at-home meals was spaghetti (squash) and meatballs with homemade marinara and wilted spinach. I also rocked a few delicious curries (coconut milk SAVED me).

Q: No alcohol? Really?
A: Really. During the month, I went to a brewery’s birthday party, a concert, and a couple bars, and we even hosted a barleywine tasting at our place. I drank seltzer with lime and sometimes added a splash of berry juice. It was delicious! (Now I’m considering getting a SodaStream).

Q: Did you cheat?
A: No. Not on purpose, at least. At home, not at all. When out, there’s only so much you can do. I’m sure not all of the cooking oil was Whole30-compliant, and I wasn’t about to raid any kitchens. And I realized–a couple weeks in–that the tea I keep at work has soy lecithin in it, so I didn’t have it for the remainder of the challenge. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Q: What results have you seen?
A: Check out my results post here!

Q: Will you keep it up?
A: No! Well, not really. First, I need to reintroduce grains, dairy, beans, sugar, and alcohol one by one to see how they each affect me. But I already know I’m going to make it a point to consume very little sugar and alcohol. And maybe even dairy. Because as much as I love cheese, the truth is that I love good cheese, and I had lost sight of that, eating just any old cheese that came my way. That’s right: I was a cheese hussy.

Any other questions? Stay tuned for reintroduction posts (maybe) and recipe posts (definitely)!

Whole30: Results!

I did it! 30 days without sugar, dairy, grains, beans, or alcohol! And I feel…GREAT!

Here are the top five things I noticed throughout the process:

1. Snacking. Before the Whole30, I was snacking pretty much every hour, and was SO HUNGRY in between. Even with healthy meals and snacks, I just couldn’t stay full. It was especially difficult between breakfast and lunch. But during the Whole30, I didn’t need to snack between breakfast and lunch AT ALL (and this was noticeable almost immediately). I was sometimes able to wait until after 1:00pm for lunch! Being full = not being cranky or seriously crashing. And that was almost completely new to me. The only other time I’ve experienced something like this was when I was studying abroad in Costa Rica, eating local fruits, veggies, eggs and meat, and very few processed foods. Hmm…

2. Sleeping. Before–and for the first half of–my Whole30, I took a prescription-strength muscle relaxer every night. This is because, despite getting lots of sleep, I wasn’t feeling refreshed in the morning, AND my neck and shoulders would be so sore (painful to even touch lightly) for seemingly no reason at all. On the night of Day 9, I stopped taking the muscle relaxer and never looked back. I sleep soundly, wake up refreshed, and my muscles don’t ache!

3. Slimming Down. While this was not one of my goals, it certainly was a welcome byproduct! [Full disclosure: a lot of people combine Whole30 with an exercise plan. I did not. In fact, I worked out less than usual, but remained generally active.]

Before Whole30 my measurements were: 38″ bust; 32″ waist; 43″ hip (*insert catcall whistle here*). After, I’m at: 38″ bust; 31.5″ waist; 41.5″ hip

And I don’t know how much I weighed before I started (because I don’t typically weigh myself and forgot), but one week in, I weighed 152 pounds. I still weighed in at 152 on Day 30.

Not a huge difference by the numbers, but look at this:

I’m starting to wonder if I misread the scale the first time…

I’m putting slimming down at #3 because results 4 and 5 aren’t definite. But here they are anyway:

4. Energy. My fatigue is pretty cyclical, so it’s hard to tell if the Whole30 worked for me in terms of energy. But I will say that usually, over the course of a month, I have way more “down” days than I did over the course of my Whole30. Is it placebo? Maybe. But does it matter, if it works?

5. Skin. Like my fatigue, my skin issues are cyclical (if you know what I mean). But, said issues have been much more mild this time around and it seems like my skin is brighter.

All great results! Now it’s time to start the reintroduction and see what happens. Coming soon: FAQs.

Whole30 Halfway: On Treats

Reblogged from Baltikahn Blogikahn:

I'm halfway through my Whole30 and I feel great. But I'm not posting to talk about my results (so far) because it's still too early to really tell what I've learned or what has changed.

I want to talk about bad days. And I don't mean bad days on the Whole30, I mean actual bad days that just happen to occur while doing a Whole30.

Read more… 372 more words

Originally posted to my family blog, here's the latest on my Whole30.

I’m tired. Let’s do a Whole30!

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Those of you closest to me know that I’ve been struggling with fatigue for a while (now everybody knows!!!). Docs found a Vitamin D deficiency (twice), and taking D every day has been helpful, but most days, I still don’t feel like my usual (or is it old?) self .

Since (other than the D-ficiency) docs are stumped, I decided to take matters into my own hands and try something new. It’s a program called the Whole30, and it’s designed to be a sort of cleanse/lifestyle change that brings awareness to how the things you put in your body affect you. It’s developed by Whole9, “a community focused on health, fitness, balance and sanity, all built on a foundation of real food and healthy nutritional habits.”

Here’s Whole9′s elevator pitch:

We eat real food – meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, fruit, healthy oils, nuts and seeds. We choose foods that were raised, fed and grown naturally, and foods that are nutrient-dense, with lots of naturally occurring vitamins and minerals.

This is not a “diet” – we eat as much as we need to maintain strength, energy, activity levels and a healthy body weight. We aim for well-balanced nutrition, so we eat animals and a significant amount of plants.

Eating like this has helped us to look, feel, live and perform our best, and reduces our risk for a variety of lifestyle-related diseases and conditions.

Doing a Whole30 is the best way to get started. They call it a short-term nutritional reset. When I tell people that I’m doing one and that it means I won’t be eating grains, dairy, added sugars, legumes (what?!), or drinking alcohol for 30 DAYS, most people think I’m crazy.

But what I think is crazy is how inexplicably tired I’ve been.

I know it’s not sustainable. It’s not a Whole365. But it will be enlightening to see how my body responds to the absence of certain foods, as well as their reintroduction (one at a time, if I can) after 30 days.

Anyway. I’m only on Day 4, so I don’t know if it will work. But I think it will. I have to hope it will. 

And if the testimonials are true (and I know some are, because I have friends who have done it), then I don’t think it’s crazy to expect great things. I’ll definitely follow this up with a recap when I’m done, and maybe even check in along the way.

Wish me luck!

*Note: This was originally posted on my family blog.

Solicited Advice

Sorry I’ve been MIA! Work and other obligations have been CRAZY.

Anyway! Moving on.

Gregg Delman | elle.com

I absolutely love advice columns. I devoured Dear Abby and Ask Ann Landers in the paper when I was younger, and I even have a few Miss Manners books that I like to flip through every once in a while. There’s something so refreshing about a woman who just tells it like it is. (And hearing about other folks’ problems is fascinating, too.)

Well, the latest Elle issue came in the mail the other day, and it reminded me that I really wanted to post one of the Ask E. Jean questions from an earlier issue here. E. Jean Carroll is, in a word: fabulous. I feel like her advice is always spot-on and so matter-of-fact.

Here’s the one I wanted to share:

Dear E. Jean: I adore my boyfriend of six years. He’s intelligent, accomplished, emotionally mature, kind, loving, and funny. But: He’s fat. When we first started dating, he was a very hot, very muscular mountaineering guide. Now he’s a lawyer, and most of the muscle has turned into fat. When he gets home from work, he sits on the couch, drinking beer and watching bad TV. He’ll do that for an entire weekend if I don’t persuade him to get out and do things. Our sex life has almost always been thrilling, but the laziness and fatness are enormous turnoffs.

I’m an athlete and go to the gym at 5 A.M. every day before my job (which we agree is even more demanding than his). Though I’m still madly in love with him, I find myself looking at in-shape men. Superficial, I realize! I drop hints, and it never goes well. Is there a way to tell him to shape up? I work hard to stay sexy; shouldn’t he? I don’t want to make him feel bad, but he can’t let himself go indefinitely! —My Sexy Man’s Gone to Seed

Gone, My Gorgon: Yes. He can. And why not? If you’re turned off by an “intelligent, accomplished, emotionally mature, kind, loving, and funny” fat dude, give him to Auntie Eeee. And God help you if you ever grow old, gain a pound, get a wrinkle, or your bottom sags.

I love you, Miss Gone, but please, let’s have no more of this revolting, body-hating hogwash! I’m sick, sick, sick of women beating up on tubby guys. The chap’s fat as a porpoise? Fine! Take him as he is! Love him for himself! Grant him the freedom to live as he wants. And when you’re disgusted by anything about his body, turn to yourself and examine your own flaws. You’ll soon forget his.

As for “dropping hints,” Miss Gone? Here’s a hint: According to recent research, “overweight” or “moderately obese” people may live longer than those of “normal weight”! In fact, a 2007 Canadian study found that those who were overweight had the “lowest chance of dying from any cause.” (See the New York Times article “In ‘Obesity Paradox,’ Thinner May Mean Sicker.” Whipsawed scientists are scrambling to examine “long-held assumptions about the association between body fat and disease.”)

I’ve looked you up—you do have an awesome career—and you are sleek and supple as an otter, but the stats say your big boyfriend may outlive you.

Now, about you getting up “every day at 5 A.M. to get to the gym.” Is this wise? Why don’t you hire a male trainer? Nothing special, just your run-of-the-mill bloke with buttocks that look like they’ve been blown up with a bicycle pump and pectorals that jut out like IKEA shelves. Schedule this professional for twice-weekly personal workouts in your living room. Trust me: Your guy won’t “sit on the couch.”

P.S. And just to put things into perspective, read this next letter.

Let’s be kinder to each other, shall we?